N.H. moms head back to school

More adult women continuing their education

By JENNIFER TREACY

“Mom, Mom! I need help with my homework! It’s due tomorrow!”

“In a minute honey, I’m writing my term paper!”

Now that’s not something you hear every day. However, that’s becoming a more common situation in many New Hampshire working moms’ households. They’re balancing their career, family and continuing their education all at once.

“Because many women excel at multi-tasking, a degree does not have to take back seat to work and family,” said Ellen Ryder Griffin, dean of the School of Professional and Continuing Education at Southern New Hampshire University in Manchester.
She said the career women, single mothers and retirement-age women she meets are remarkable.

“They set their goals high and nudge their career along one course at a time,” she said. “It’s easy to see why these same women become leaders of New Hampshire corporations and service industries.”

Flexibility is key

Becky Balfour, 41, of Hollis, is a prime example. She’s married with two children, ages 9 and 12.

She’s a full-time social studies teacher at Hollis-Brookline High School, a volleyball coach, a school advisor and a student pursuing her master’s in curriculum and instruction at the University of New England. The school is located in Maine, but Balfour doesn’t commute. She takes all of her courses online.

“The flexibility of the online program makes this possible for me,” she said. “I could not find the time to go to a campus every week.”

To Balfour, obtaining her degree means she’ll be updated on the latest in her profession and receive a salary increase. It’s going to take her 20 months while devoting about 8 to 12 hours per week to her school work.

“During the school year when I’m teaching, I essentially become a weekend warrior and crank out the work Saturday and Sunday mornings,” Balfour said.

Martha Corkery, coordinator of Graduate Education Programs at The University of New England, said the majority of students who enroll in their online programs are women, many of them with small children.

“Web-based programs allow many women to continue their education because of its flexibility,” Corkery said. “We say it’s ‘the program you can do in your slippers’!”

Essentially, women can complete their schoolwork at any time. Online forums give students a place to post questions and correspond with others. Corkery said women in similar circumstances share their challenges with each other on the forum, and it helps them to know they are not alone.

For the children

Many women say being a good role model to their children is a driving force to finish their education. Jennifer Ulicny, 32, of Brookline said her children were a major motivation for returning to school.

“I felt it was important to have a college degree to show the importance of education to our children,” she said.
Ulicny’s husband encouraged her to return to school to complete her bachelor of science in nursing and was very supportive. She drove to and from the Rivier College campus in Nashua taking two classes each semester.

During that time, she became pregnant with their first child, but that didn’t stop her from continuing.

“Going to class after working all day and being pregnant made for a long day,” she said. “I delivered near the end of the second semester and was back to class within a week so I could finish the semester to take the final exams.”

It took Ulicny two years to get her degree. She said her husband and in-laws made it possible by watching their child and by always making sure she had time for school work. Her last semester was the hardest. She had to complete 135 clinical hours in an intensive care unit.

How did Ulicny ever find time for herself?

“One thing my husband and I love to do is run,” she said. “We are lucky because we both have flexible work schedules so we share a lot of responsibilities and take turns to work out.”

No matter how stressful things got, quitting was never an option.

“I knew in the end it would be worth it,” she said.

And it was. Ulicny now has two children and is a registered nurse working for Hallmark Health, which owns Melrose-Wakefield Hospital and Lawrence Memorial Hospital.

A life-changing event

Claudia Zent, an academic outreach advisor and coordinator of Accelerated Evening Programs at Rivier College, said she is seeing more women return to school because of a life change such as a divorce.

“Many women are returning because of life consequences,” Zent said. “Many do so out of a new need to support themselves and often their children during mid-life.”

She also said beginning a new road in their lives helps women rediscover themselves. “Their work life is more in focus than it was earlier.”

This was the case with Jean Mammola, 43, of Milford.

Mammola is a divorced single mom with three children, ages 13, 16 and 18. She started taking classes 10 years ago. After having her third child, she decided to wait until her children were older to continue.

Mammola works as a special education aide, and her goal is to become a registered nurse. She now takes two courses each quarter toward her liberal arts degree and will then apply to the RN program, all at New Hampshire Community Technical College’s Manchester campus.

Her main reason for returning to school so aggressively is due to her divorce. Fortunately, the courses she took several years ago transferred and she received credit for them toward her current degree.

Zent said many schools now offer more flexibility in accepting credits that were earned long ago. Not having to repeat courses saves students money and time.

“My circumstances changed,” Mammola said, “but the same desire to achieve an education had not.”

Read on as more New Hampshire women tell their stories about their career, family life and education.

Lisa Hughes, 39
Goffstown
Major: Education

I am married with a 14-year-old son. I work full time with Squires Temporary Staffing agency where I am under contract with the Life is Good company. I am an elementary education/special education major with about a year left until I finish my degree. I have been attending Rivier College for years due to financial constraints. I am only able to take two or three classes at a time so it has been a long, hard road. I have just returned to Rivier recently after a year off to have an adventure with stage-3 breast cancer. I love life, and I cannot wait to get into a classroom and share my wonder of life with kids.

Jessica Borey, 27
Nashua
Major: Social Science

In high school, I gleefully checked out the great colleges I would attend after graduation. I wanted to be a marine biologist and travel the world studying the oceans’ wonders. Becoming a teen parent was not part of this plan, and it changed my life forever.
I was determined to be the best mother for my son but still had dreams of accomplishing a college degree. Finishing high school became impossible, and at the advice of my guidance counselor, I dropped out and received a GED. I slowly began my college pursuits but only part time.

After having my second son, free time was scarce, but I made the goal to pursue my degree full time till it was complete. That was three years ago. I had to prioritize my life in a way that included family, full-time employment, college classes and homework time. I remember watching the boys and dad going to family barbecues without me so I could work on my studies.

A year and a half ago I became a single mother, and the thought of delaying my college degree seemed logical and necessary at that time. I knew if I could just stay strong and not give up I would be done soon. Of course, one cannot accomplish this alone. I had my cheerleaders to offer support and inspiration. My sister watched my boys on her days off so I could study. My cousin would call to offer words of encouragement, and my mother would constantly remind me how proud she was of my pursuits.

As a single mother, It took more strength to finish college full time while working full time with a two- hour a day commute and raising two boys full time. Last spring I was determined to have my first summer with my boys. In order to achieve this, I had to complete my last six courses in two terms. The adrenaline I had built knowing how close I was to finishing gave me the boost of energy to accomplish this – also the majority of my vacation days! Today, I am a graduate and my boys, ages 6 and 10, were able to see me walk across that stage to receive my diploma and cheer me on.

An old high school friend recently asked, “How do you do it? I mean it. Really. How do you do it?!” I said anyone can do it, but you’ll need a great support group, some sacrifices and a big, beautiful goal wrapped in a bow.

Kimberly Daniels, 31
New Boston
Major: Business Education

I decided to pursue a career change and become a high school business teacher in 2006. A year later, my husband and I decided to start a family. I continued to work full time and go to school two nights a week until I was three weeks from my due date. I went back to school two nights a week when our daughter was 1½ months old, then went back to work when she was 4 months old. It’s been a long road with a ton of hard work along the way, but it will all be worth it when I can get up every morning and say that I love my job!

I am due to start my student teaching in January, and I expect to graduate in May 2009. I could not have come this far without the support and help from my husband, both of our families, and, of course, the smiling face of our 1-year-old daughter.

Misty Partello, 31
Merrimack
Major: Elementary Education

I have less than a year to go to complete my degree. Last month, I went to part-time since I have completed my general curriculum courses. I have two boys, ages 2 and 5, and I am a stay-at-home mother. I have an associate’s degree in business that I received attending an online school full time while I worked full time.

How do I do it? Mostly stubbornness to finish something I start. Also, doing this will help me provide a better life for my children. My priorities include having the best of both worlds. I want to be able to work outside the home to fill my own need for personal satisfaction, yet also be there for my children.

My advice to other moms would be to cut yourself some slack, especially in regards to guilt. I have spent many summer days finishing that paper, midterm or final when my children and I would have preferred to go to the beach. Your children’s childhood will not be ruined by the missed excursions. In fact, I think they’re learning a valuable lesson many do not seem to grasp: Sometimes things you want require hard work and sacrifice. My motto is: “You only get one shot at life, so you better make the most of it!”

Angela R. Isaia, 33
Northwood
Major: Psychology

I work full time, am the proud mother of six, ages 11 months to 15 years, and I take two eight-week courses at a time. I have to be organized to go to school, work and help run my house. I call it “organized chaos,” as I have to juggle school, work, church and five kids in sporting activities and volunteering with Special Olympics for my oldest son’s team, the Capital Area Cougars.

I wouldn’t be able to do it if it were not for the support and encouragement from my kids, my husband and my mother-in-law. I do what I do because I want to make a better life for my kids. I want them to see that you are never to old to go back to school and that you can be whatever your heart desires. It will take me about two years to receive my bachelor’s degree in psychology. Then I will look to getting a master’s, then my PhD. I look forward to working with troubled youth once my degree is accomplished. This is where my passion lies. I also will work with my church and take accredited classes to become a youth pastor.

Helen Robbins, 54
Londonderry
Major: Business/organizational leadership and psychology

When I talk to other women my age, they tell me they have often considered going back to school but don’t think they can do it. I was one of those women. I say, “If I can do it, so can you.”

I take two classes a term, most have been online, but I occasionally take classes at the SNHU Manchester campus. I am the mother of two adult married children and have two grandchildren. I am not working for an employer, I’m working for my education, and I treat my school work as my job. Once I took my first class, I loved it. I will finish both degrees in June of 2009. I have been able to maintain a 3.8 GPA and have been inducted into two National Honor Societies, Delta Mu Delta and Alphi Chi.

Cherie Carr, 38
Manchester
Major: Psychology, minor in justice studies

I have five teenagers, including two step-children, ranging in age from 14 to 20. I also have a handsome 1-year-old grandson. I returned to school in November, when my stepson started looking at colleges. Since my kids already thought they were smarter than their mother, I didn’t want them finishing their degrees before me and being able to prove it. When I returned to school at SNHU, I had one semester that I had finished 20 years ago. Now I have two year’s worth of credits. I stay up late to do my homework after everyone else has gone to bed. I try to do a combination of online classes, hybrid classes and on-campus classes and hope to complete my bachelor’s degree by next summer.

I’m beginning the application process for graduate school, where I will continue my studies in psychology and criminal science. I am fortunate that I don’t have to balance a job other than being a mother. I recently started volunteering for the YWCA crisis line, which had been my goal for a long time.

I have waited to see this dream through for 20 years. I became a mother at a young age and found it difficult to manage school, a full-time job and being a single parent to three children. If you have one person to support you in your goals, it makes all the difference. I consider myself incredibly lucky.

Jennifer Parrotto, 29
Boscawen
Major: Early Childhood Education

My pursuit toward further education started in 1998. I was a single mother, and I knew I needed to do more for my son, Chris, and myself. I worked toward my certificate in medical transcription at Nashua Community Technical College while working second shift so I could be home with my son during the day. I fit in school on the weekends and some nights. I only took one class at a time. After working in the medical records field for a while, I went to work for the school so I could have the same schedule as my son. I got hooked! My true calling was in education. In January 2004, I signed up with SNHU.

I worked hard, starting with just one course, then quickly moving to two courses per term. I did this all while working as a teacher’s aide in the special education department. My future husband was with the Army in Iraq. School kept me busy so I wouldn’t worry about him constantly. When my husband came home from Iraq, I became pregnant with my daughter. I had to take a little time off, but I was back doing online courses when Amanda was 1 month old. Since then, I have been plugging away, taking at least one course per term. I began working full time as a preschool teacher where my daughter attends childcare. I have almost completed my bachelor’s degree. I will be student teaching this fall, and then I really will be done! Through all of this, I never compromised my family, which is probably why it has taken me so long. My education is very important to me, but my family is first.

Nancy Tanner, 39
Washington
Major: Business administration with a concentration in human resources management

I finished my associate’s degree in accounting in 1993. I always wanted to finish my bachelor’s degree, but in the meantime I had two wonderful children. In 2001, I became an emergency medical technician and still serve as a call EMT-Intermediate. Attending EMT classes helped me gain my confidence back as a student.

In the spring, I decided to see if financial aid would make my dream of attaining a bachelor’s degree possible. SNHU had the best schedule for me, and I was able to get the funding. I signed up for my first two classes and began making the hour drive two nights a week. I anticipate finishing in the winter of 2009-10.

I really enjoy school. To me, it is more about the learning than the degree. This is an attitude I did not have when I went to school as a younger person. I have had many conversations with my daughter, 15, and son, 13, about the importance of a college education, and I hope to be an excellent role model for them. In addition, I work full time as a bookkeeper for SAU 66. And there is baseball and soccer to contend with. I am proud to say I did not miss one of my son’s baseball games this season.

How do I do it all? By the seat of my pants! Just kidding. I have had to become a very organized person, and I could not do it without the support of my wonderful husband and children.

Lisa-Marie Pinkes, 42
Pembroke
Major: Business administration and human resources management

I am a continuing education student, taking two classes per semester, and plan to graduate in 2012. I work full time for Public Service of New Hampshire (10 years now) in the Nashua Southern Division Design Build Department. I have two children, ages 16 and 22, and I have guardianship of my 2-year-old granddaughter.

My day starts at 4:30 a.m., and the craziness begins with getting everyone up and ready to head out the door. I bring my granddaughter to daycare in Manchester and get myself to work in Nashua at 7 a.m. On Monday and Wednesday nights, I have one class. I get out of work at 3:30 p.m., race to pick up the baby and drop her with her mom, then get to school for 5 p.m. so I can eat something before class starts. My second class is on Saturdays, so the rat race is not as crazy. Keeping up with this schedule gets hairy at times, but I think the kids and my fiancé, who is also a student, work together as a team.

I love my life and wouldn’t trade all the blessings I have been given. I try never to forget all I had to overcome to get to this point in my life. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, have been unemployed, homeless, suffered from post traumatic stress disorder and depression, and I have been a single parent for many years. It is these challenges that keep me focused on the future I can create for myself and my family.

Kelly Shaw, 36
Rochester
Major: Elementary education

I transferred to SNHU after a 13-year hiatus and will receive my degree in the spring of 2010. When I started back to school, I was working full time, caring for my family of five and trying to continue my studies.

It can be a real challenge trying to find the time. Scheduling is key! I go to the Manchester campus for all of my education classes and try to take the general education classes online. This gives me greater flexibility. I am able to spend more time with my family and my children.

Even if I am studying or doing homework, the online classes allow me to be here for my kids. It seems to make a big difference to them when I come home at 9 p.m. instead of well after they’ve gone to bed. It is a lot of work, but will be well worth it in the end.

Julie Neuwkoop, 30
Windham
Major: I am studying for a bachelor’s degree in business administration, an RN associate’s degree and an associate’s degree in paralegal studies.

I am a working single mother of a wonderful 7-year-old son named Nicholas. We hang our papers on the fridge together, and he enjoys quizzing me on my flash cards. I enjoy teaching Nicholas about the value of a great education. I have waited a long time to go back to school, and I am feeling extremely fulfilled by this dream that has now become a reality.

My plan is to complete all of my current majors within four years and graduate in May of 2010. I am halfway there. The reason I am so disciplined when it comes to completing these degrees is because I fully intend on returning to Rivier College immediately after I graduate to pursue my RN bachelor’s degree and then my master’s degree after that. The paralegal studies degree will come in handy when it comes time for me to achieve my ultimate goal, which is to attend law school. I would love to specialize in medical law and become an attorney dealing with cases pertaining to the medical field. All of these degrees I am working toward will be useful to me in the future and will assist me in continuing to provide a stable and promising future for Nicholas.

It is a lot of work maintaining my household, raising Nicholas, working and being enrolled in a “more than full time” college schedule. I am no stranger to hard work, as I have been on my own since I was 15 years old. I enjoy pushing myself to achieve the most I possibly can and want to teach my son to be independent and hard-working.
I am very motivated and look toward my future dreams.

Karen Vittoria, 39
Merrimack
Major: Elementary education/general special education

It always has been my goal to finish my education. I started in my early 20s but was not able to complete my degree because I decided to stay home with my children. When my children were 8 and 10, I decided it was time to return to school. I was a single mother working as a paraprofessional at an elementary school in Manchester. I needed to complete my degree to attain my dream of becoming a special educator.

I started at Rivier taking one class a semester. Once I settled back into the world of academics, I took two classes a semester. This year was the breaking point. I wanted to finish before my 40th birthday (Dec. 30). I loaded up on classes, will complete my 16-week student teaching requirement in September and will be done with all my studies in December. It has not been easy. Between all those classes and completing 75 hours in pre-practicum work, I got re-married in June! Without my encouraging husband, Andy, my two patient children, Victoria and Anthony, and my supportive mom, Jean, I would not be making my dream a reality.

Laurel Dillon, 34
Bedford
Major: Human development

This fall will be my second year back in school at Rivier College. I hope to complete my degree in 1½ to 2 years. I work full time between two jobs. One is at a dental office where I have been employed for 9 years. The other is a new job at Easter Seals as their dental program coordinator.

I am married and have two children, ages 6 and 9, who will start football and cheerleading in August. My husband, a police officer, is very supportive of me finishing my education and has been extremely helpful by changing his schedule to accommodate my work and school schedules.

I have a busy and exciting life with all of my responsibilities, but completing college is not only important for me, but for my children as well. I want to set a good example for them and let them see that anything is possible with hard work and perseverance.

Christine Surprenant, 30
Goffstown
Major: Education

For the past nine years I’ve been living in my own home. I began a pursuit for a bachelor’s degree in education in 2001. I wasn’t able to go to school full time and still have health insurance under my parents. I needed to work full time for insurance and then go to school part time at night. So that’s what I have been doing.

In April 2007, I learned that I was blessed with child. I continued class for that spring. The following fall I withdrew from my scheduled class for fears of unnecessary stress from work and school.

Jolene Lisa was born just before I turned 30. I have had the wonderful privilege of seeing her grow by being a stay-at-home mom. I recently made the decision that, if I was to be out of work (and not have insurance), why not go back and finish my degree? My mother has agreed to watch her first grandchild twice a week while I go back to school.

Andrea Plaisted, 24
Rochester
Major: English Language and Literature

I just started my junior year at Southern New Hampshire University and have been at the college for a year now. (I previously attended the University of New Hampshire and Johnson and Wales University several years ago.) My major is English, and I will go on to get my master’s in Secondary Education.

My goal is to start my master’s program by September 2009, but the earlier the better! I take three courses each term and combine on-site and online classes to allow more flexibility with schedules. Next term, I received permission from the dean to take four courses because I am eager to finish my bachelor’s.

I have two daughters, Adriana, 3, and Lily, 1. I stay home with them and also watch my nephew, who is 3. It is challenging to balance school, family, friends and housework. For me, the secret is time management and finding “adult time” or “alone time” whenever possible. I love the challenge, and I am a firm believer that it would not be as gratifying if it came easy. I encourage everyone to go back to school. It is never too late! If you are determined, you will succeed.

Kara Berthel, 23
Salem
Major: Child Development

I am going into my senior year at SNHU in Child Development with a concentration in children. I have been going to school since I graduated high school. I got my associate’s degree in Early Childhood in May 2006. I then continued in the fall for my bachelor’s.

In late September I found out I was pregnant and would be due the following April. I ended up having some problems and ended school in December. I started to explore options for after I had my son. I wanted to finish school but had to work during the day.

In the summer of 2007, I chose to enroll at SNHU. The classes were only eight weeks long and two nights a week. This would allow me to get my degree and still spend time with my wonderful family. Now a year later, I have two part-time jobs during the day, and I am doing my internship. I also take two classes every eight weeks and have almost completed 10 classes. I will graduate in May of 2009 with my bachelor’ degree in Child Development.

Donna Mcdonough, 59
Dracut, MAss.
Major: Human Development, Minor in Social Work

At the moment, I am taking one class at a time. It will probably take me three years to finish. I have a grown son and daughter and two beautiful grandchildren. I work full time as a job placement specialist in the Nashua office of Easter Seals. I help adults and students find employment or assist them with their career goals. I also work with veterans and their families through a special program of Easter Seals called Veterans Count to assist them with their vocational needs.

I also founded an interviewing closet called First Impressions Closet at my office. This is open to the Nashua community. It consists of donations of beautiful interviewing clothing to help people when looking for a job.

In addition, my husband and I own a company called Country Comfort Heating and Cooling. I am the marketing person. I am also an active ambassador with the Nashua Chamber of Commerce, as well as several other networking groups in the Nashua area.

I always make sure I leave some time for my husband and no matter how busy we are, we always make it a point to go out to dinner. Plus, we love to travel. In addition, we love to entertain, so we make it a point to spend time with friends. All work and no play is not good. It’s important to keep a balance of work, school and pleasure.

April Bernard, 29
Manchester
Major: Elementary Education

I just completed my first year back at school. It was a hard decision to make. I am a single mom of a wonderful 5-year-old girl named Colleen. I had wanted to go back to school for a long time, but it was hard to find time being divorced and working full time.

I am so glad I did decide to go back. Teaching is something I have wanted to do for a long time. Going back to school has been so much easier than I thought. I take classes in the evening, so while I am at school my daughter gets to spend quality time with Nana and Papa. I want a good education so I can give my daughter the best life possible. My expected graduation date is 2011.

Pat L., 45
Bedford
Major: Social Work

I have 2 kids, Meredith, 19, and Jason, 23. I was married when I began school and now am divorced. I work at a crisis service as a coordinator helping victims of domestic and sexual violence. I also work per diem as a nursing assistant at a local hospital.

I began thinking about furthering my education when my daughter started kindergarten. I did not want to be an aide for the rest of my life. I love my patients, but I wanted to do more. I also thought a degree would mean more cash flow. I was always speaking with patients and their families whenever I had the chance. My charge nurse at the time said, “You should become a social director.” I decided that maybe she was right. That is how I chose social work. It had the best avenues to assist people and their needs.

I took courses at UNH in Manchester and Durham. When I began, my daughter was in first grade. I only took one class in the morning two or three times a week, depending on the class. I increased my classes after I realized I would be in school forever. I worked four days a week at the hospital; managed to cook, clean, get the kids to various practices for sports and doctor appointments; did homework; and even maintained relationships with friends.

Paying for my education was a big worry. Tuition reimbursement from my employer and school loans, which totaled $29,000, was well worth it. Now I am able to help my daughter the best I can to help her get an education.

I always thought I was returning to school to get a better-paying job. After a couple of years, I realized it was more than that. I was proud of myself. I wanted to show my kids that goals could be met at any age.

From start to finish, it was 10 years. My advice to other working moms who want to go back to school? Just do it. It’s hard. Ten years seemed so far off. However, if you never start then you can never finish.