Letting go of my resolve

By Gina Angostura
NH Mirror Staff

I’m writing this about an hour before midnight on New Year’s Eve. Just so I can tell my editor that I did something on Wednesday, when it’s due.

But is this the portent of all Eves to come? Am I becoming Emily Dickinson but way less talented? For those who don’t know, Dickinson was an American poet who never married and was rather reclusive.

I just looked her up (I’m nothing if not a fact checker) and read that she carried on most of her friendships through letters. I guess the fact that I spend a lot of time talking to people online – the new letter writing – means I’m not a loser; I, too, can be a successful reclusive writer. (I’m nothing if not a rationalizer, too.)

Actually, I hate being alone. I would be out now, but I’m trying to get over a cold, and I thought it might be better to stay in and rest instead of go out in the freezing cold and snow to drink some overpriced girlie drink that I wouldn’t be able to taste anyway.

So I’m having some Sprite at home and watching Lionel Richie sing “All Night Long” in New York. Woo hoo! Do I know how to party or what?

And I’m thinking about the new year ahead. This year, instead of making a list of resolutions that I’m already breaking with potato skins and sour cream, here’s what I’m NOT going to do in 2009.

I resolve not to pretend to be something I’m not for some man. If I have to take them like they are, then they’ll have to do the same. So no more pretending I like ska, sushi, skiing, skydiving or any other “s” word. Well, there is an “s” word or two I do actually like. No pretending in that department. Well, hardly ever.

I also will not be getting more organized in 2009. Every single women’s magazine has an article on getting organized in the new year. But I won’t be buying baskets or hanging shelves to store my extra stuff. I like my medium level of organization. I’m not a freak about it, but I’m also not a cat lady living in between stacks of newspapers. So I’m fine.

Another thing I resolve not to do is run a marathon. I may get into better shape, though if my history is any indication, I may not. But even if I do, a marathon is not in my future. I don’t show that level of dedication to my kids, let alone a 26-odd-mile race. I applaud people who accomplish that goal, but I can barely microwave a hot dog without needing a nap. So, no.

So what am I going to do in the new year? I’m going to abide. No one said every year has to be better than the one before. Expecting it to be is just setting yourself up for disappointment.

I’m happy. I don’t need new accomplishments or higher achievements to make me more so. Each new year is a gift. And no matter what we do – or not – it’ll zoom past faster than an organized marathoner.

So enjoy it while you can.

Does your misery love company? Send Gina an e-mail at singlecynic@thenhmirror.com.